ADVENTURE ELOPEMENT & INTIMATE WEDDING INSPIRATION
(directly from a Bride who planned the elopement of her dreams)
Hi there!
We are Rafa & Shy, a hubby-wife wedding filmmaking team currently based out of San Luis Obispo. We say currently because we actually live & work out of an RV that we use to travel, explore new places, and film weddings & elopements all over the West Coast & Beyond!
Over the past few years being in the wedding industry, we’ve experienced well over 300 weddings & elopements! This experience has given us a deep insight into what we wanted for our own intimate wedding. The route we took for our celebration is a little bit different than most, so if this resonates with you we are here to give you inspiration, encouragement, and share a little bit of our WHYs & HOWs .
all our wedding week photos are by : The Quirky
Ultimately we’re here to share a bit of the HOW and WHY of our own experiences, and most importantly, to inspire others to create a unique and customized Elopement or Intimate Wedding of their dreams.
A Few Things We’ll Go Over
ELOPEMENT
VS
INTIMATE WEDDING
ADDING PERSONALITY & MEANING
WHY WE HIRED A PHOTO/VIDEO DUO
HAVING AESTHETIC IN MIND
WHY A MULTI DAY EVENT
LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKE
An Elopement VS. An Intimate Wedding
Like many of us, we were torn between having the privacy and simplicity of an elopement, but we couldn’t imagine not having our closest family present. After all, we are both the first of our siblings to get married so it was a huge deal for our mothers.
But we are both so terribly introverted, our relationship has been very much a private one. And we didn’t like the idea of professing our deepest feelings in front of anyone else.
So we did both! An elopement in the mountains and an intimate wedding with family in canoes out in the ocean. Personally, each day holds a special place in our hearts in different ways, it’s hard to even say what meant more. You might think that what came first on the calendar ended up taking more of the feels and emotions, I’ll tell you that was not the case, at least for not for us.
Just think, you’ll have double the memories, double the anniversaries, double the love, double the locations that you could revisit or reminisce about, and double the photos and content for an amazing film ;)
Our Sunrise Elopement
Eloping was always our first choice. By nature we’re more private people, so we were in love with the idea of having it be just the two of us on a mountain top somewhere. I’d dance hula for Rafa as my wedding gift of course. We also had our hearts set on having our first dance in the presence of nature, and maybe exchanging a few words silently to each other with a grand backdrop of the mountains meeting the ocean. Another factor is quite simply that I’m such a nature girl, it was pretty much a non-negotiable to incorporate nature in some way. The night before was probably the most nerve wrecking moment of the entire week, I maybe got a few minutes of light sleep then woke before the crack of dawn for what was to come… one of the most magical moment of all the time for us & our relationship.
Our Intimate Wedding
The ocean. A place we’ve spent a lot of time lounging about, specifically Lanikai Beach! Together with our Saint Bernard “Brandy”, we’d tan for hours, bob around in a floaty, or kayak out to the Moku Islands. A week without setting our feet in the sand did not exist during that time in our lives. Needless to say, this location was very meaningful to us. In addition, I scattered my fathers ashes in the ocean, so a big part of me wanted to include him, to feel like he was there with us. We found an awesome company in Kailua called Koa Canoes, they rent out canoes and a sail boat that fit our small wedding perfectly. Sailing out was the moment we both remember the most. Our feet in the water, the subtle sway of the boat and the feel of the wind. The water surprisingly calm. It felt like we were saying goodbye to one chapter, and sailing off into the beginning of a beautiful new one.
Why We Hired A Photo/Video Husband+Wife Team
Personality
Originally we did not base or choice too heavily on personality, for us it was more about the work. Being filmmakers ourselves, we were obviously super picky about the quality of the work
They ended up being very compatible to us and our social dynamic. We are both introverted mostly, so in social interactions we can have a certain level of energy that will eventually run out of gas. Not feeling the obligation to constantly converse, entertain, and be a host was really nice and put us at ease.
So we got lucky that our personalities fit well, but as you plan your own day it’s important choose people you think would vibe with you and your group. Do you want an invigorating, take-charge kinda person who can keep you engaged and entertained? Maybe a bubbly and outspoken person with witty comments to make you laugh? Or would you prefer people that are more chill and down to earth? Someone you can feel at ease with or to be your calm center, to let there be moments of silence when needed. Or hey maybe you need someone with a balance of traits. Whatever your preference, don’t sleep on this huge factor when selecting any vendor!
Treating Them Like Family
Ok this one might be super specific to us… it’s been such a privilege and honor for us when couples brings us along to document their destination weddings & elopements. There’s so much talent out there, often people that are geographically closer, and yet they still choose to fly us in and be a part of it all. How cool is that right?! We often gain so many amazing memories and experiences from those trips that bring so much meaning and fun to our life and work. The point is, we wanted to give that to experience to another fellow couple! We chose a photo/video husband-wife team called The Quirky, they are based all the way in France. We specifically wanted to plucked a couple out of their comfort zone and bring them into another country, language, and the culture of our little island in Hawaii.
We felt strongly that we wanted to be THOSE CLIENTS, we wanted to give them an unforgettable experience, (and hopefully a portfolio piece, and something to brag about, hehe). We also felt strongly about paying them their price and travel costs, no haggling, no “wanna do our wedding for a discount cause we know it’s bad ass?”, and no asking anything beyond what we paid for.
I mean, we just imagined, what if someones said to us, “I want YOU GUYS, get your ass to Europe and document our epic multi-day event on the country side of France!” ahhh the dream…
How It Would Feel
We’ve mentioned it a few times already, but we’re more on the introverted side. We feel more comfortable in smaller groups in general but especially when in a social setting. Needless to say we were more down for the idea of having a smaller two person team following us around, rather than a team of three or four. In larger more traditional weddings there is often two photographers and two videographers, and with so many things going on in a large wedding it totally makes sense to have that support and the ability to split up for certain things. But when it comes to an intimate wedding, or even more so an elopement where it’s just the couple, we’ve found that a team of two is just perfect.
Imagine you’re at the moment of saying your vows. Got it? It’ll usually be the time your media team is on high alert making sure they don’t miss a thing. Now imagine all you can feel during this intimate moment are 6 or 8 eyeballs, 4 cameras, all trying to tip-toe and be quiet.… but you’re out in nature so every snap of every twig made by 6 or 8 feet starts to become noticeable. Wouldn’t that take you out of the moment? Maybe just a little bit. That was our fear. But with just the two of them, and them being pretty quiet in general, we totally forgot that they were there at times, which allowed us to let our guards down.
ALSO……VENDOR CHEMISTRY
(Between your Photographer & Filmmaker)
Just like in a relationships, you need chemistry, communication, compatibility and respect. Believe it or not, this applies to your media team as well! In a perfect world everyone would get along. No one would step on anyone’s toes, or allow pride, ignorance, or a competitive nature to take over, but the reality is it happens sometimes. We’ve seen or heard about it countless times in the industry. So the benefits of hiring one team are two fold:
1# They work together all the time and have learned to work WITH each other as a TEAM. The product you receive could sometimes vary from a 7 to a 10 (speaking from experience) depending on how well they vibe and respect each other.
2# You only need to communicate with one team, one contract, one everything throughout the planning process.
A single day couldn’t possibly showcase the intricacies of who we are. So we took this gathering as an opportunity to create something MORE.
A lot of our family is scattered around the states, oceans apart, with their own life and schedules. The idea of spending a week together really excited us, especially since some of them had never actually met in person. We knew that the opportunity of having everyone together at once was going to be a super rare occasion, so we planned a week-long adventure for everyone to get to know each other and have a good time. Basically choosing to dual purposed our marriage into a family adventure/reunion. Incorporating meaningful AND aesthetic choices to nearly everything.
Why Should YOU Consider a Multiple Day Event?
#1 More Memories
I mean life is all about experiences right? Needless to say you’ll have more of it on a multi-day event. We’re definitely not bagging on those who choose to keep it sweet and simple, but if it is in your heart to extend the celebration we are here to encourage you! And hopefully give you some ideas and get the wheels turning. It’s so often people say that their big day went by in the blink of an eye, and believe me, ours did too! But at least by having multiple days of memories that blink extends into something you can ponder.
#2 Family
“We only get together like this when someone dies or gets married”, I’m sure you’ve heard or felt that before. We all have our own life and schedule, we might live in different states or be in different stages of life, so if you have the opportunity to bring everyone together, take it, run with it, and make it your own! Because if you’re anything like us, it’ll be tough to get everyone together like this at any other time. And you never know when you’ll see each other again so why not make it special?
#3 More Photos + Video
“Whoever said less is more clearly isn’t a wine drinker.” And who doesn’t want MORE rather than less when it comes to the documentation of your event, especially in this day and age. For us the value came in having a variety of images of ourselves and our family throughout the wedding week. So we don’t have just one set of photos in one outfit, one location, one day, one vibe. We have multiple days of photos with different outfits, different locations, and each with a different vibe and activity.
#4 The Documentary Film
Filmmakers have all kinds of names for this type of edit, Feature Film, Legacy Film, the FOMO edit, to name a few terms we’ve heard around the industry, but regardless of the name most do offer a longer form edit that is much more inclusive of everything that happened on the wedding day, and in this case our WEDDING WEEK! We did not realize when we decided to add this edit to our package early on, but it ended up being WAY more meaningful than we anticipated. In fact, when we get the itch to watch our wedding again, we usually opt for watching the long version haha. It’s a way of really reminiscing the entire week, seeing everyone’s faces is so special. We’ve delivered Documentary Films for our own clients before, but it never occurred to us how precious it is to have it as keepsake until we received one ourselves. Being able to see, hear and experience all of the little moment (between the big ones) that didn’t make it into the shorter more creative type of film was SO SPECIAL. It’s like having the best of both worlds, a Film that is creative and revolves around our marriage and love, and another Film that is more inclusive of Family and all the activities we did.
Now we see that the Documentary Film is a true heirloom. The story of our epic wedding week will last forever even after our time on earth. Our kids, grandkids, great grandkids and beyond will be able to experience everything that happened through music, sight, sound and emotion. We know it’s funny to think of it that way in your 20’s and 30’s, but it’s true, it’ll be a legacy wether you want it to or not. So take the opportunity create something meaningful and dynamic, one that is unique to you! HAVE that bonfire bbq at your grandparents lake house where you spent your childhood in the summers. HAVE that intimate yet crazy weekend getaway with your closes family and friends. Or be like “screw it, let’s take off just us and spend a week-long of adventure exploring a new country! Whatever it is, if it’s close to your hear it’s SO WORTH documenting in this way.
How We Added Meaning & Personality
#1 Our cultures
It was important to me that I share my culture with Rafa’s family, after-all some of them had never been to Hawaii before let alone participate in our cultural practices. So with the help of my grandpa we set up a full day of activities to really immerse them in the Hawaiian culture. We took them to my grandpas taro patch to teach them to harvest and plant taro. Later we visited my childhood home to teach them how to pound poi and open a coconut. And to incorporate Rafa’s Mexican heritage, we thought what better way than through our taste buds! Rafa’s mom prepared everyone with an amazing meal that we all shared at our treehouse airbnb the day before our wedding.
#2 Meaningful Places
China walls
A a secluded little gem in Hawaii Kai that we would go to a lot, especially after a long day at the beach or sometimes we’d try to squeeze it in at the end of a work day. It was the perfect spot to hang your feet off the cliff and watch the sunset with a good poke bowl and a few beers. And that was practically what we did when we brought our family there!
Haleiwa Joe’s
A magical little gem tucked away in the most unlikely of places.
Makapu’u Lookout
Makapu’u Lookout is where we had our first dance EVER. It was really early in our relationship when we’d cruise around at night getting into shenanigans. We hiked up to the top of the mountain in the dead of night, with only the stars and moon lighting the path and it was freezing! We held each-other to keep warm and he turned a song on his phone, put it back in his pocket, and started swaying me while I was stood on his feet. When we took our family there it was a quick stop because not everyone would have been able to make the hike, so we just showed them the views from the bottom. Even that view is spectacular though! I was really excited to see the look on Rafa’s mom’s face when she saw it for the first time.
North Shore
Where to start with North Shore, it’s probably side of the island that holds most of our memories in Hawaii. Endless weekends were spent there doing pretty much the same thing and it never got old. Early start, fruit stand, ice cold 6 pack, hit Sharks Cove or Waimea Bay, shrimp truck, go home, shower the dog, and back at it again next weekend (all in that exact order). And that’s pretty much what we did when we brought our family there. We also managed to fit in a few more locations that we normally wouldn’t hit on the daily but knew that someone who had never been to Hawaii before would enjoy.
Sandbar Boat Tour
My Aunty worked for the boat tour that we took out on one of our adventure days. She was generously able to get us a tour and actually drove the boat herself! Actually a while back she even got Rafa a job there around the time we first meet. He’d often come home and tell me about “Boris” the wild sea turtle that would visit the tour boat regularly, or about how he saved someone from almost drowning in waist deep water. Again, another meaningful place that we wanted show our family and incorporate into our Photos and Film.
How YOU can add Meaning & Personality
The possibilities are endless. Throw in your hobbies, interests, favorite places, or even your own cultures! Do you play guitar? Sing? Dance? Or maybe have a special talent? Do you have an interesting love story that you want recorded or a creative vision you want to carry out? Gonna spend the weekend in a cabin? Do a snorkeling boat tour with fam? Wanna re-create something you’ve seen in a movie, or heck want us to follow you on your honeymoon? JK. Whatever it is, it’s worth documenting. Not to mention it’ll make your Photos and Film so much more meaningful.
Having Aesthetic in Mind
People give a lot of attention to the dress, the flowers, the ceremony location, etc., but often some of the other elements that are just as important for the overall aesthetic are overlooked. Being filmmakers we obviously payed extra attention to these things, so here are a few of our recommendations!
#1 Accommodations
This is not only the place where you will hang your hat and kick up your feet after a long day of adventuring, it’s also the place where you might get into your wedding attire, the place where you’ll wake up together as a married couple for the first time. It will appear in countless photos and video. This place will hold a special place in your hearts and minds, so make it a good one that you would love to revisit! For us, we wanted the Airbnb to be in a forest, we thought it would be a nice contrast being that most of our adventure days (and intimate wedding) would be near the ocean.
PRO TIP: Find an airbnb with lots of natural light! Big windows, updated non-cluttered decor, and if possible look for big open spaces for hanging out!
#2 Guest Wardrobe
For our intimate wedding we had about 30ish people, everyone having their own idea of “dressing nice”, especially for a select few family members LOL. Our guests ARE the “bridal party”, every single person will be in the pictures and video so we wanted everyone to look sharp! We chose to control the wardrobe and came up with an outline for everyone to follow. White top or dress, and beige pants. No one can mess that up right? Well, everyone did great and looked sharp!
PRO TIP: If you’re having an intimate wedding or elopement without a bridal party, consider a wardrobe guideline for your guests because everyone will be in the pics and video! Be super clear about what you want and give them visual examples.
#3 Complementary & Contrasting Locations
They look great side by side don’t they? Well that’s what we were going for, a stunning contrast to have in Photo/Video, but also because it has a lot of meaning to us. Rafa loves the ocean, but his characteristics are more like the Earth. I love the mountains, but my characteristics are more like the ocean. It’s kind of been a thing we’ve always said, and that’s why we feel we make such a great team in work and in our life partnership. BALANCE.
Learn From Our Mistake
We wish we hired a Day of Coordinator
Do not make the mistake that we did in thinking a full planner or day of coordinator is not necessary because you are having a small event. It all depends on the the specific details for your own wedding or elopement, but a good planner is worth their weight in gold. Having a ton of experience in the industry I kinda looked forward to planning everything ourselves, and for the most part I think I did a pretty good job! Honestly our intimate ceremony didn’t require a ton of planning or timing other than making it on time for our sail boat and canoe launch. We didn’t have speeches, dances, only the ceremony itself and a small performance by my nana. But we did wish we had hire a day of coordinator for some of the little things.
Someone to be the Announcer & Leader
A planner or day of coordinator brings so much inside knowledge and experience that the average person would even think of, even wedding industry people like ourselves missed a few things! Having someone to be conscious and aware of some of these things would have made a difference in the vibe of certain moments. These were a few of the things we wished we had a coordinator for:
1. Announcing our arrival to the canoes. It was a bit silent when we arrived to our family standing around the canoes. I mean it was sunrise after all so we get it, and people don’t naturally know what to do in events like this. It’s funny but they usually have to be told how to react. Like you know when the host, Dj or planner says “Give a round of applause”, or “Let’s give a big welcome to…”. Those little things matter so much. We’ve seen it so often where it’s an intimate wedding, and they didn’t have a host, dj or planner and the couple did their cake cut and no one claps. And the expression on the couples face was a little bit of disappointment, expecting people to join in on their happiness. But it’s not your guests fault, like I said, most audiences need to be told how or when to react. It’s something we weren’t fully aware of until we experienced it ourselves!
2. Announcing the event is over and playing a little bit of host as we ditched the party. Rafa and I both looked at each other like “Do YOU wanna do it?….. Ok everyone go home!” In all seriousness, we did feel a little bad that we didn’t plan an event for them to celebrate afterwards, but hey we had seen everyone’s faces all week and were ready for some rest and relaxation. We would’ve love for someone to have eased our exit hehe.
3. Playing music in the appropriate moments. We assigned my mom to play music the moment after the first kiss, but because she was understandably in the moment she must have forgotten and we ended up having to ask her later. It wasn’t a big deal though, the music eventually came on while we hung out for a bit which was nice.
Overall we felt we were the best people to plan our week of adventure because it is obviously very specific, and we know Hawaii so well. Many of the places and activities were very personal things that had to be overseen by ourselves. But if we had chosen to have a week-long adventure in another country or state that we were unfamiliar with, we probably would have hired a local planner to help us plan our adventures. One thing is for sure though….if you’re having a full fledged intimate wedding, speeches, cocktail hour, dances, etc. HIRE A PLANNER!!!